The challenge, especially as your Grands approach and navigate their teen years, is maintaining that meaningful connection. Life happens at an accelerated pace at this time in their lives, and if you are like me, you don’t quite understand all that is happening to them. To add to this challenge, teens are notorious for one-word answers. “How was school Zack?…….. Fine”, and then off to their room. Natural, yes, Meaningful, No.
Grandparents Are Natural Connectors
The intention is an essential ingredient of connection. Because you are reading that sentence, you become qualified to be the best conduit for connecting with your Grandchildren. You will only be reading this article if you are a Caring Grandparent.
Making a meaningful connection with another human being requires vulnerability on the part of both parties. A requirement for vulnerability is Trust. As a Grandparent, you are inherently qualified for the position. I have long believed that each child has a better chance to thrive in life if they have at least one adult, other than a parent, that they can lean on as they grow. You have an opportunity to be the icing on the cake. I hope you seize it.
Employing the wisdom from around 400 BC when Socrates and Plato would connect in conversation will be helpful. While we don’t have to get all deep about it, it may be instructive to know that by asking meaningful questions, we can foster meaningful conversation and, in doing so, deepen the meaningful connection. Let’s see how this works.
Last weekend My grandson and two of my Great Grandsons (16 and 15 years old) visited. We were having breakfast. I see them several times a year, but we like each other. The 15-year-old is pretty introverted, while his brother is wide open. I told them what I was writing about and asked them if I could try asking good questions. They agreed, so I posed a question to each. Interesting and instructive answers came pouring out of the 16-year-old. My introverted 15-year-old was a little more guarded in his answer. When his brother got up to go to the bathroom, I asked the younger brother a follow-up question. I think I ask, “What is your favorite subject in school and why? Almost like magic, the floodgates opened, and he began to tell me about a course, incredibly how excellent his teacher was. Long story short, I had more conversations with him this past Saturday morning than in his first 15 years. He was animated, excited, and enthusiastic to share with me. The magic is that I will regularly check in about this when I next see him. A meaningful connection has been forged. One well-placed thoughtful question about something HE was INTERESTED IN, and the skies opened up.
I suggest that we invest our time and interest in our Grandkids. The rewards are immense. It is not natural for them to initiate these meaningful connections during the teen years, so it is up to us as Caring Grandparents to find a way to connect and stay connected. It is our job, but we are uniquely positioned as Grandparents to add so much value to them and, by extension, our families.