That Familial Love
The power of parents and Grandparents operating in unison in the best interest of the Grandchild cannot be overstated. This is Familial Love in action. This synergy adds value to the all-important secure attachment that allows children to grow and thrive. It is not an exaggeration to tout the advantage of a unified effort to offer our little Loves the absolute best chances to develop and grow to their own potential bathed in a sense of feeling Loved.
A
Thoughtfulness
Mindset
For the best possible outcome in the family setting this may require that the Grandparents reframe the traditional model of Grandparenting. For most, it is not a major shift in thought but rather a reconsideration. A Thoughtfulness mindset.
Partnership with the Parents
No matter the degree of difficulty, working in partnership with the parents has the greatest return on investment. It is difficult but essential and appropriate to learn, relinquish the reins, add value, and trust your own ability to create a Great outcome. Some of the most evolved, effective, and supportive Grandparents carry around a metaphorical roll of duct tape to put over their mouths to keep themselves from offering unsolicited advice to their children about how to raise their kids. This is important enough to repeat; they are their kids. To quote the most influential wise person in my life, my Mom always told us, “If you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all.” This may just be the best advice EVER when it comes to backing off and letting our children raise their own children. This cannot be emphasized enough.
You did a good job raising them and now it is your turn to stand back and trust them with the process. Given room, encouragement, and support, you may find that they will come to you now and then to ask for advice. Oh, Happy Day, it is now appropriate, standing shoulder to shoulder, side by side, to venture into this delicate territory of advising.
The number one concern among Grandparents is the health and well-being of their Grandchildren. The closer we are with the parents of our Grandkids the better our chances of reaching that goal. This partnership with Mom and Dad creates a synergy that will benefit all, especially your Grandchildren. One of the positive upsides of maintaining an open channel with the parents is that you can glean valuable information about what is happening with your Grandchildren. This information allows you to bond with them over what interests them at any given moment. One of the six principles in Dale Carnegie’s best-selling book, “How to Win Friends and Influence People” is to “Speak in terms of others’ interests.” Ahhh, yes, MEANINGFUL CONNECTION.